Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
