I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
