okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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