Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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