If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I party with great urgency now.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
