you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize