Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
