I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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