Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
