I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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