wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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