let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
