You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
