Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
