You're so nebulous sometimes
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
