thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize