Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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