And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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