Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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