This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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