My room smells like vodka and shame
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
