at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
