We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
