I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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