I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
