it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
