I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
