A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
