pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
