I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
