Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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