I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
