Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
