Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
