I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
