i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
