but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
