She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Randomize
