Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
