You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
