Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize