Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Randomize
