are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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