I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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