if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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