I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
