I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
