sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
