Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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