is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
