i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
