I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
