Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Your topless pictures make me question reality
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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