Are we in a gay sports bar?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Randomize
