Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
