my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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