well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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