today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
