so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
