She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
