...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
